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"I want to take this opportunity to tell you that I found your book to be on target and extremely helpful in pinpointing major areas of codependent behavior in people who need to become more aware of it in their lives. I was especially moved by your treatment of the subject of Surrender and Brokenness and your awareness that it is an area that most professing Christians fail to enter into as they should.
I wholeheartedly endorse this book and have decided to put it on the ACADC Institute recommended textbook list. May the Lord continue to use you as a counselor, teacher and influencer as He broadens your sphere of influence."
- Pastor Michael Belzman,
Founder and CEO, ACADC Institute
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Learning God's Love in Relationships
New Life Spirit Recovery is a premier resource for Christian codependence recovery. We offer a separate workshop program designed to expose, address and initiate a life-long recovery process.
Even as Christians, we may be overwhelmed and exhausted by imbalanced relationships.
Whether we have an addictive person in our life, have painful relationships or simply feel empty, disconnected and drained by the demands of daily life, it can be difficult to pinpoint what’s wrong. What we often don’t realize is that in our efforts to compensate for what’s missing in a relationship or resolve the problems of those around us, our own sense of wellbeing may dissolve. While focusing on the needs of others, our emotional and spiritual needs often go neglected.
The Codependent Workshop Program at New Life Spirit Recovery is an intensive approach to understanding how to balance our relationships and our lives by finding intimacy with God first and foremost. From there, we learn to build new foundations and boundaries that promote a safe, healthy and freeing approach to our relationship with others.
The program is designed from a professional, but biblical perspective to provide a safe-haven to deal with issues that perhaps have been overlooked our entire life. If the principles are applied, they provide the tools to access a life of true significance, purpose, meaning and love that come from being dependent on God, not merely influenced by our circumstances.
Do you suffer from codependence? Know the signs!
On a scale of 1-5, with 1 being the least and 5 being the most, answer the following:
- I have difficulty saying “no” when people ask me to do something, even when I know I should not do it.
- I feel I need cover up for irresponsible people in my life because I don't want them to suffer. I'd rather "fill in and help them" then see them get consequences. It's my job to assist them.
- I understand that it is my job to fix, manage and hold my family/relationship together.
- I work hard to be thoughtful and nice to others and get angry when they don't respond or reciprocate my efforts.
- I like to be around people that need my help. I avoid situations where I would not have a task or a "duty" to perform for others.
- I worry about how I make people feel. It directly affects my own feelings.
- When I get in close relationships, I change to try that please that person. I often "read" people to figure out how I should act.
- I don't like being alone. I need to be around others all the time.
- I am afraid of people. I need to isolate.
- Being "good to myself" is equivalent to selfishness
- Other people's needs always come before mine, even if it I have urgent needs and they do not
- In the areas of my life where I experience approval, I often become over-involved. In the areas of failure, I detach and withdraw.
- If something is not perfect I see it as a failure
- I become defensive when others point out my imperfections
- I often measure myself in accordance with other people. It leaves me feeling as if I'm "better" then others sometimes, and "worse" then others at other times.
- I'd rather hang out with people that I perceive as "less" then myself so I can be in a role of helping, solving or fixing their problems.
- I feel very inadequate when people seem to "have it all together." I tend to avoid friendships with those type of people.
- Deep down inside, I don’t really like myself and don't want people to know the "real me"
- I tend to blame and criticize people and circumstances for my feelings.
- I have a hard time leaving relationshps, even if they are unhealthy
- I have a difficult time asking people for help, even when it's necessary.
- I feel sometimes that if I don't do it myself, it will never get done right
- I find it difficult to speak what I truly feel or ask for what I need.
- I have secret sins in my life that I cannot not let others know about because it would ruin my image of being the "strong one" (i.e., alcohol, drugs, food addiction, sex, pornography, etc.)
If you have answered two or more of these with a "5", you most likely have codependence roots in your life. If you consistenly scored "4's and 5's" it is also an indication of severe codepedence tendencies that may require a deeper level of recovery. Learn here about codependent resources.
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